copypasta
No, you’re NOT a real gamer.
I’m so sick of all these people that tho k they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends.
Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once.
Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
PLEASE LOOK AT THIS IM ROOLLING https://www.fcc.gov/ecfs/search/search-filings/filing/10509027302965
K-KITTEN??? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?? I THOUGH WE WERE 4LIVERS!! 😡😡 WE WATCHED SKIBIDI TOILET TOGETHER, SANG THE SONG, DRANK GRIMACE SHAKES TOGETHER, ECT! 🔪🔪THIS IS NOT FUNNY! 👿👿👿alpha scratches you and you die W-WAIT, NO KITTEN!! | DIDNT MEAN TO! WAKE UP!! PLEASE!! NO!! MY OHIO LEVEL THREE GYAT ONE TWO BUCKLE MY SHOE LIGHTSKIN STARE KITTEN!! NO00000000!! IM SO SORYY!!!! WAKE UP, PLEASE!! ⛓⛓ i-i must go... i hurt my kitten, the one i swore to protect no matter the cost. ilm so sorry kitten, daddy loves you
I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin
I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo
I left my door open a crack and now there are ten thousand lighting ⚡⚡ bugs 🐛🪲🐞🐝 are swarming me oh god it stings why is there a disco ball 🔮💿 THEYRE INSIDE its so bright BURNING🌞💥🌟one thousand hugs🕺💃 stinging me ten million fireflirTHE EARTH TURNS. dance 💃🏌🌍🌎🌏
Slight NSFW
Women arent real. They are and have always been fake. All historical records, music, art and genetics depicting females have been altered by the government. It is well known that everyone has an CIA agent. That would either mean that there are double the people in the world or that half the population works for the government. It is said that around half the population is female. Curious, right? Also how do you explain the fact that women live longer than men? They work for the government! Of course, you might think that there is real proof for their existence, but I can debunk all of it. Their voice is made by voice changers. Their body is made by soy present in the air. Of course, the biggest counterargument would be their genitals. But porn is a lie. Have you ever seen a woman naked? Me neither. If you have a wife or a girlfriend, you are lying. But just for the sake of argument let's say you do. You have been brain washed by the Liberal government. The only thing all politicians agree on is the fact that women are made up. The only other rational argument I can think of is where do kids come from. Hahaha, you have been brainwashed to think about "birth". Everyone knows kids come from orphanages and factories. Did I change your mind or has the truth not reached your ears yet? women are a lie (any females are welcome to prove their existence in my DMs)
I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended.
Four ruffians break into my house,
"What the devil?"
As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle.
Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot.
Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog.
I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "TALLY HO LADS!"
The grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms.
Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.
He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up.
Ah, just as the founding fathers intended.
Hey kitten, come to the club (Yeah) Turn it up with me if you're tryna have fun (Oh yeah) I saw you from the corner on the side (Yeah) You've gonna party with the boss tonight (Okay) Dancing under that moonlight (Yeah) All I see is your two eyes (Okay) Another drink is a surprise (Ha) Another drink and I whoo (Ha ha)
i'm literally only joining this community for THIS ONE
One time, I went up to John Linnell to ask him for his autograph. He just looked at me blankly for a few seconds. Then his face turned three shades of red. Suddenly, he pulled out a switchblade and began carving his name on my forhead!! Two of his ever-present bodyguards held me so that I couldn't defend myself. He screamed,"You want my autograph, you little punk!!?? Wear it for life!!!" Then a bunch of his sycophant fans started cheering as the blood ran relentlessly down my face. John gave me a final kick in the crotch as he turned to walk away. And that's why I hate They Might Be Giants.